“Good Evening, beautiful ladies,” gushed the waiter, with a
thick Eastern European accent, as we slid into the booth, bags flying
everywhere. We took longer than it should to finally settled all our things giving him
more ammunition to keep the conversation going. “Do you always carry so many
things with you? And that ring. The big ring. Is it for fighting off the boys?
Do you like trouble? Do you get into trouble? I bet you are trouble.”
My Girl friend and my
mouths’ dropped as he took our shock and speechless-ness as an opportunity to continue. “Me, myself, I
am a bad boy. I am very naughty. Would you like some drink?”
Girl friend : “Umm, this bottle of white wine please”
pointing to the list.
As he rushed off we looked at each other and wondered “did
that really just happen?” He was gone about five minutes when he arrived when
the bottle of wine. “Do you like to taste? I bet you like to taste.” By this
point Girl friend was giggling, I was still a little uncomfortable and
taken aback.
Me : “Umm, sure I’ll taste”
Waiter : “Yes, yes, it’s very good”
We placed our order and as he fluttered around the restaurant while we went on catching up about work, boys and
the latest gossip. He popped in occasionally to top up our glasses and comment
on our drinking patterns. “You do not seem to be drinking. Is there a little
man under the table with a long straw stealing your wine?” Girl friend’s laugh
fills the restaurant. He continues “I think you do like trouble. I think you
are a naughty girl”
Me : “Us? No … we don’t try to be trouble”
Waiter : “I know women. I study them and the ones that say
they aren’t naughty are always the naughtiest”
Girl friend : “Is this really happening?”
Me : “umm”
Waiter : “yes, yes. I love the women. I like to play with
the women.”
Girl friend laughs harder.
Me : “Oh wow …
interesting”
Waiter : “I can cook too”
Girl friend : “You can? What do you cook?”
Waiter : “Pasta. So good” as he pushes his fingers together
and kisses them.
He holds out his hand, “I’m Raphael. Guess where I’m from?”
We shake his hand.
Waiter : “Oh wow! You have a very confident hand shake.”
Me : “I do?”
Waiter : “Yes. Yes. You are confident. You know what you
want and you like to get it. But I think you are also soft inside and care
deeply for others”
Girl friend : “Seems pretty spot on”
Me : “Are you a psychic now too?”
Waiter : “No. I just read people well. So where are you
from? America?”
Both of us : “yes”
Waiter : “Guess where I come from?”
Girl friend : “umm … Italy? Turkey? We don’t know just tell
us”
Waiter : “Only one more chance! I am Polish. I am from
Krakow. You must go? Have you gone?”
Girl friend : “Nope, I want too”
Me : “I’ve been to Poland but not Krakow”
Waiter : “Oh I will take you home to meet my family and you will love my family. My mother is a good
cook. Ok we will go”
Girl friend laughs, “This is moving fast!”
We say thank you for an entertaining meal and ask for the
check. We’ll we’re waiting I head to the bathroom and run into him in the
hallway. He follows me into the Ladies’ room to show me how “you can hold hands
with the mens’ room” (there was a gap connecting the sinks to the two rooms).
Me : “I think I can take it from here .. thanks”
The bill came along with a couple of shots created especially
for us, because he is also a master bartender and cocktail creator, and I must
admit the idea crossed my mind that they drinks might have been laced with
something. We stood over us while we took the drink and then waited for our
approval, which we provided, of course!
We held our breath he wouldn’t ask for our numbers or follow
us home and laughed at just how absurd and crazy the entire experience seemed
to be. The restaurant was wonderful and is even ranked one of the top 100
places to end in London on TripAdvisor. So, if you ever want some free table
entertainment and a nice Turkish meal find your way to Kazan near Victoria. Raphael
will be waiting to greet you!
